No Bras in the Trash

As the boxes were carried up the stairs when we were moving in a few weeks ago, I nearly sobbed at the sight of all our stuff. It has been sitting, locked up in storage for the past eight months . . . and now what am I supposed to do with it? I've been living without it for this long, and now . . . now what? While we were living out of exactly four suitcases, we made the decision to cut down our wardrobe. But the cutting is painful sometimes. I'll fold one of my old jackets, and Curtis is all, "But I thought you liked that jacket." Well, I do. But I have to draw the line somewhere. I made a spreadsheet of the numbers of each type of clothing I could keep, and I can keep only three jackets.

We have a plan to getting rid of many of our clothes.

First, we can sell what we can. We've got a nice consignment shop near our apartment that I've given a few lesser-worn items to. It gives those items a second chance at being loved, and I like that. What doesn't sell after sixty days is donated. I like that too.

Second, we can swap what we can. Our church women's organization has an awesome Share Table that they set up when we have monthly activities. You can set what you want on the table, and let someone else have the chance to reuse it. Whatever is left on the table at the end of the night is donated. I really like that.

Third, we can donate what we can. What I don't think will resell or get snatched from the Share Table will go straight to Arc. Arc is similar to Goodwill: it accepts donations of clothing and household items, but the donations help serve and fund programs for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. I love that.

But, there are still some things that I can't sell, swap, or donate. Bras? Underwear? Many donation sites won't accept items like that. So I did some research, and I want to tell you about my findings:

Source: usagain.com

Did you know that over 13 million tons of textiles are trashed each year? Many of the items that we throw away are perfectly reusable, including bras and underwear. Bras, in fact, are one of the most requested items in women's shelters and transitional programs around the world (The Bra Recyclers).

So what do we do with bras that don't fit or that we don't wear? I found a couple neat places that you can donate bras:

The Bra Recyclers. The Bra Recyclers save bras in good condition from adding to piles of wasted textiles and gives them to girls and women who are in need. Women in transition don't always have the means to shop for or afford a bra. Of those women, 8 out of 10 are wearing a bra that is the wrong size. A bra is one of those garments that we don't often think of as a self-esteem booster, but it is. Having a bra gives a woman confidence and comfort, and The Bra Recyclers can give women that confidence when they need it most.

Bras for a Cause. For those bras that may not be in tip-top shape, Bras for a Cause accepts bras, lingerie, swimsuits, and underwear (even the sexy stuff!) in all conditions (but they accept items in good shape too!). They take these items and sort them: What is reusable, they donate. What is not, they turn into art and sell to raise money to support breast cancer survivors and research. It is hard to find someone who hasn't been affected by breast cancer. My own Lola passed away from breast cancer nearly a decade ago, so donating your old bras can help this cause.

Moving Back to Vancouver

Well, it's finally here. We are here. We are settled. We are back. Let's hang some pictures on the wall and stay a while. To think the last time we were here, sweet Livia was just born . . . it's a little strange that she's now standing on her own and at least twice her size. Our adventure has gone by fast, but we're ready for the next one.

The last time we were in Vancouver, we liked it, but we didn't love it. We picked our apartment sight unseen, and were less than thrilled when the sight was seen. I was stuck, very pregnant, in a part of town where nothing else was. No parks, no stores, nothing to do. We were sharing a car, and Curtis drove that car to work every day for almost an hour each way. It was hard to make friends because we were just the people who were leaving in a few months. I lived for Friday playgroup, which never seemed to come fast enough. When I did get the car, it was only because Curtis was on a week- or two-week-long business trip. The worst! We had our shining moments (visiting the coast, seeing family, having Livia), but they were few and far between. I spent almost the entire time looking for a new place to live. For some reason, I remember the sun shining only once.

As we were driving back on Saturday, it couldn't have been a more beautiful, sunny day. We already felt different and hopeful about our new home. We unlocked our apartment door to find a sweet welcome basket from our apartment manager! Who does that? That little basket was so much more than just a roll of toilet paper or bottle of hand soap; it was a beacon of hope!

We had a few people lined up to help us move our lives from the storage unit into our apartment. Well, we showed up and saw only one friend ready to help! (We love you Reidheads!) We were just a little worried until the sweet sister missionaries showed up. By this point, Curtis had already loaded the truck. Eeek! The sisters called a few other missionaries, and within minutes, six other missionaries arrived to help! What luck! They were bringing up box after box to my overwhelmed self, when suddenly a few other friends showed up. It was like pressing the fast forward button on the VCR. Those Heasley boys sure know how to move boxes! (And there is nothing like moving to make you realize how much stuff you have . . . especially after a year like ours.)

This time around, things are much different. We love where we live. After living in Germany and walking everywhere we went, we love walking to all the nearby shops and parks. Sebastian rides his bicycle along side me to our favorite produce market (they give him free ice creams!), to the library (we love story time!), and to a few different parks (with friends, even!). We are even on the same block as our church building. Curtis has even started carpooling with a coworker who lives in our neighborhood, which makes his commute much shorter (hello, HOV lane!) and my travel radius much larger (hello, zoo!). And for some reason, the sun is shining all the time.

Business as Usual

Curtis had to complete a two-week assignment at a truck dealership, and he chose to do that in Salt Lake. So, why not bring the whole family? We took an extra week off, purely for convenience's sake, so we wouldn't have to drive to Portland then back to Utah then back to Portland. It was a fantastic idea, to say the least. Lately, I feel like all his business turns into extended family vacations. I still wish we had turned Spain into a family vacation. Oh well. Maybe next time.

After the Christmas festivities were over, we drove down to Salt Lake City, Utah, as we had done many, many times before. It honestly felt like we were driving home . . . not driving in the opposite direction. The mountains, the temples, the feeling of Utah seemed so comforting and familiar. It was nice.

Mammaw, than you for letting us stay with you for the first week. Boy, are you a hoot! We played games late at night and had a party with the whole family. Just like old times. You are a big reason we felt so at home in Utah.

Reid and Stacy, we're so glad we were able to see sweet Evaline's blessing. It was such an honor for you to invite us—and if you hadn't, this whole vacation probably would never have happened. We have always felt terrible about moving away right before your wedding, so we hope the steak made up for it.

Rick and the Nomen Alumni Association (actually, there's no such thing), there will always be a special place in my heart for you all! Teaching English was always something I wanted to do as a career, and I know I was more than lucky to do it while living in Provo, Utah. I was able to live my dream and meet some of the finest people in the world at the same time. It was lovely seeing you all again at the most authentic Mexican joint around these parts--Cafe Rio.

Sara and John, breakfasts at your house never disappoint! Although it was a little weird being in our old house with you, we always love chatting about whatever comes up. We can't believe how big Sam is (and how round his head still is!) and that you have another on the way! You two always make us feel so good about being who we are, so we really do wish we saw you more often!

Drew and Julie, we really are friends! It meant a lot to me when you told us we were good friends because we promised to visit you and we actually did . . . of course we did! It's a shame we didn't have time for you to tell us the story of how you fell in love again (my favorite story), but there is always next time, right? Right?

Many and Nere, you are both some of our most loyal friends, and we were so glad we got to meet little Liam! We still get a kick out of the "we are only doing something simple," and Many whips up the most delicious Baja tacos we've ever had in our lives. No exaggeration. Nere, I've been making salsa like you told us to. We will never do anything else.

Provo 3rd Ward, I feel like we will always consider you our "home" ward. You were the first ward we attended as a married couple, and you shaped our religious lives at a critical time in our marriage. We still talk about all the great friends we had in your ward and how easy it was to be ourselves around you. Thanks for welcoming us back with warm smiles and a jar of honey.

Alicia (and family), you were the best visiting teacher I have ever had, and you still make me feel like I am the most important person! We were so honored you invited us over to your home for dinner, and you must tell Ruben what a wonderful chef he is. So tender and juicy . . . it's a real vacation when every meal is delicious.

Pizzaria 712, you are the one thing we wanted to eat when we came back to visit. I don't know what "burrata," "romesco," or "crostinis" are, but you know that they are delicious together, and I trust you. The fig and Gorgonzola pizza was a total winner, but when have we ever had a non-winner with you? Never.

Kamille, I have basically known you longer than anyone other human on Earth, and it shows. No topic is-off limits, and I always know we generally have the same exact thoughts at the same exact times . . . probably because our two babies are the same exact ages. Winston was such a perfect friend for Sebastian. The testing at the beginning just allowed them to know they were on the same page, and now Sebastian loves Win like a brother. I want them to be friends forever. Kangaroo Zoo, the children's museum, swimming . . . I never wanted it to end.

Delyn, no matter how many years go by, I will always consider you one of my biggest inspirations and sweetest allies. You look better every time I see you, and I am so excited to hear about your new plans and to see where they take you. P.S. Sebastian finished drawing in his notebook after like two Sundays. I'm surprised it lasted that long! He just loved it. And I loved my chocolate. That didn't last nearly as long. Not at all.

Garrett and Austen and Baby Roy, what can I say? We love you guys to death. We loved having dinner at your apartment, at Pizzaria 712, and at our hotel. I still laugh when I think of Garrett throwing Sebastian on the bed the way you did. You already know this, but Sebastian has named all of his toys after you. We may not have a black and white cat toy, so the dalmatian is named Baby Roy. And they play chase together all the time.

Christmas in Boise

After a long set of months being far away from family, we were excited to get to spend two whole weeks in Boise with Curtis's family.

Heather's Homecoming
A few days after we arrived, we learned that Heather was going to be coming home from her mission just in time for Christmas. An early Christmas miracle for everyone! We gathered at the Boise Airport with family and friends to see Heather walk off the plane.

Launching Rockets
Wesley is one of Sebastian's coolest uncles. He built his own rocket launcher out of PVC pipe and a bike pump. Sebastian loved watching Wesley launch rockets in the freezing weather and running after the rockets to do it again and again.

Christmas Morning
This year marks one of the first years that Sebastian really understood what "Christmas morning" really means. He was still confused at first about what to do with the wrapped boxes, but he quickly caught on.

Skiing
The (big) boys took a day together to go skiing at Bogus Basin. They are all horrible at remembering to take pictures, but I hear it was a crash-filled day. Curtis at least has a black toenail now to prove they did something extreme.

Caroling
The Hale family tradition of caroling is one of the highlights of the year. We sang "Jingle Bells" and "Silent Night" for a few family friends. Many people claim it makes their Christmas. It sure makes ours.

Bowling
One of the highlights was going bowling as a family. Sebastian bowled for the first time, and did pretty well! He loved watching the ball roll all the way down the lane, and he even got a spare!

Family Pictures
We took family pictures at the Boise Capitol building. It was perfect because the family was complete with Heather. It was also a perfect occasion for Livia's first shopping spree. She was quite pleased.

Family Games
What is a Hale holiday without a few rounds of Spaced Out? As usual, I dominated—with a baby in my arms, I might add.

New Year's Eve
It turns out that New Year's Eve is a terrible holiday when you have two babies that go to sleep at eight o'clock. We thought about attending a few different parties, but got distracted by Netflix. I think we tried kissing at midnight, but we could have missed that too. Oops.

Goals for 2015

This year, I decided to organize my goals that was both simple and complex at the same time. The organization is simple because I will have only two goals per category. I will be able to keep track of what I want to accomplish easier with just two goals to think about. The complexity comes with eleven categories, eleven areas in my life I feel I need to improve. Eleven.

Let me explain.

This last year of life was a bit of a whirlwind for our family. We started a new job. We finally started our blog. We moved from Arlington or Portland to Charlotte to Böblingen to Sindelfingen back to Portland and are currently homeless. We traveled to Seaside and Washington D.C., Paris and Berlin. Oh yeah, and we also had a baby and raised a toddler. We even crossed a few items off our bucket list.

But I've hardly had any time to focus on myself, much less on improving myself. At the same time, however, this year has been one of the best of our lives. Aside from the fact that this year was crazy, we think we loved it for two reason: we lived with less and we lived in the moment. We lived intentionally.

Never before had we spent more on experiences than on stuff. Never before had we spontaneously taken advantage of a free weekend than relaxed all day because "we deserved it." We built our home with time, not tools. And we filled our lives with love, not things. We saw fewer movies but saw more of the world. We made more plans but we also made more memories.

And we thought it can always be like this.

There is no reason we can't explore more of Portland this next year. There is no reason we can't hike through the forest or visit the beach or climb a mountain or eat exotic food every weekend. There is no reason we can't find newer ways to give meaning to our lives.

So now that we are settling down in Portland into a lifestyle that works really well for us, I want to improve myself in the following areas: physical, nutritional, financial, spiritual, recreational, educational, organizational, social, cultural, marital, and professional. I know, I know: It seems like a lot. But these are all areas of my life that are important to me and that I give attention to anyway. And if I can make them better, what's not to love?

In each of these categories, I will complete two goals. These goals are totally doable. Many of them I have already started this year, but my goal is to make them consistent. For example, in financial I want to plan a menu a week in advance and stick to a $40/week budget. I started meal planning earlier this year, and I want to really perfect that skill. (By the way, have you ever used PepperPlate?) I also want to not buy any "extra" things for the entire year. I'm actually really excited for this challenge. I also want to cut my entire closet down to 50 pieces, finish my programming course, plan a family camping trip, and learn to use a DSLR camera. Curtis wants to volunteer at Habitat for Humanity, learn to forage, eat two cups of fruit and three cups of vegetables daily, and ride his bike to work three times per week (which he now might not get to do since our apartment is too far...). Sebastian doesn't want to do anything . . . but as my professional goals (ha!) I'm going to help him ride his balance bike, use the toilet, and count.

We are really excited for our goals, not because we have a lofty idea of what our lives could be—but because we already know how grand our lives already are. And we intent to keep the momentum.

No Room

Of all the exciting things we have seen this year, Sebastian has loved riding the trains in Germany most of all. We usually ride the S-Bahn, or the street trains, on a regular day. We'll sit at the train stop and face the direction the train is supposed to come. When he first spots the red engine gliding our way, he is excited every time. We roll into the car with extra room for bikes and strollers and look out the window for cows, water, or wind turbines. But on our way to Berlin, we got to ride the ICE, or the fast train. Since our connection was a few minutes late, we were worried we wouldn't make it to the ICE in time! We barely hoisted the stroller and our suitcase into the car before the door started closing and the train took off.

While we normally like to find the car with extra room, we didn't have time to walk up and down the train to look for it. And I'm not even sure there was a car like on this train. With a stroller and a suitcase, there was no room for us to sit. So we sat in the doorway next to the trash and bathrooms. 

In the car in front of us, a few single riders placed their bags in the seat next to them to prevent a stranger from sitting next to them. In the car behind us, a large group of men partied with beers in hand. Sebastian honestly couldn't tell the difference between where everyone else was sitting and where we were. He drove his toy car along the walls and jumped in the small space between the doors to the seats and the doors to the bathrooms. It was loud, so it masked his cheerful toddler noises that might have annoyed the seated passengers.

With Livia in my arms, I sat directly across from the bathrooms and watched passenger after passenger open the door while the toilet was flushing. I would periodically move to the side so that others could throw their coffee cups away. No one asked whether I'd like to sit in a seat. No one gave up their place for the tired woman with a baby.

But then I thought of Mary . . . when there was no room for her.

And tears filled my eyes. And peace filled my heart. And suddenly the train went quiet. 

The City of the Century

When people ask me and Curtis about our favorite part of the last three months, we say, "Berlin"—without hesitation. When we first came to Germany, we thought we would be traveling every weekend. While we did get out and explore every week, we didn't realize how difficult or expensive it could be to take two babies somewhere exotic without a car. Curtis knew he had one week of vacation at the end of our stay in Germany, and while we dreamed of eating pizza in Naples or watching Shakespeare in London, we decided that Berlin was the city to visit.

Train Travel
Riding the train is the way to travel! Let me tell you . . . we've done a lot of traveling this year, and we love the train best of all. We saddled up our babies in our wonder-stroller and wheeled a suitcase behind us to the train station bright and early. We played at a nearby playground at the Stuttgart Hauptbahnhof (on a most gorgeous December day) while we waited for the train. We took four trains that day, but we had our own private compartment on the longest train, which traveled between Mannheim and Berlin.

We ate lunch and took naps and walked up and down the length of the train for, literally, hours. You can't do that strapped in a car seat.

Brandenburg Branch
When we arrived in Brandenburg, our final destination, we rushed to the bus stop only to be stopped by a familiar face! Matt met us right before we bought our tickets and gave us a ride to the church building. As we walked in, we were welcomed with open arms, Christmas treats, and Kinderpunsch (mmm!). The members of the Brandenburg branch recognized Curtis from his mission years ago, and I could tell he had a great time reuniting with these people that he loved so much.

We attended church the next day in the branch that Curtis spend seven months of his mission in. The Brandenburg branch is small, but very much like a close family. Curtis and I both spoke during Sacrament meeting (in German) about being in Germany, Christmas, and the Savior.

Berlin History

During the first part of the week, Curtis and I took the babies into Berlin to do some sightseeing. We booked a walking tour that outlined the past 100 years of German history in Berlin. To see the changes that have taken place in this city and to see how that city changed the rest of the world over that time earns Berlin the title of the "City of the Century."

The stones in the street mark where the Berlin Wall once stood.

Curtis revisiting the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe 

at the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe

a remnant of the Berlin Wall

some Stolpersteine, or memorials for victims of Nazism

It was truly a solemn day to reflect on the history that took place in Berlin, but it was even more astounding to see where the people of Germany are today. They are a people that remember the past, appreciate the present, and respect the future. 

Once it started to rain, Curtis led us to his favorite bus line. The 100, a double-decker bus, takes passengers past all the landmarks in Berlin. We hopped on at Alexanderplatz and rode to Kaiser Wilhelm Church on the top level of the bus, right at the front! We were lucky to get the best seat on the bus . . . but too bad for us, though, that the rain fogged up the windows!

atop a double-decker bus

after we wiped off the windows

Kaiser Wilhelm Church

Kaiser Wilhelm Church was destroyed in WWII, but was not rebuilt as a way to remember the war. The square surrounding the church was filled with Christmas market stands. We grabbed a döner kebab to share . . . but after one taste, grabbed another one because it was too good to share!

the best döner Curtis has ever had

The next day, we stopped at some of the locations that we passed (but didn't get to see) on the 100 from the day before. This time, Inette, our expert photographer, came with us.

. . . cheeks!

The third capitol in which Sebastian has chased pigeons!

Mission Revisit
Part of the reason we chose to visit Berlin was because Curtis spent two years in Berlin as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He lived among the people and spoke the language and walked past well-known landmarks every week. Here's just a few pictures that I wish we had made side-by-sides for!

Brandenburger Tor, 2007

Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, 2007

Potsdamer Platz

Weinachtsmarkt
Traditional Christmas traditions, like Christmas trees, Advent calendars, gingerbread houses, nutcrackers, and many Christmas carols, were born in Germany. At the beginning of December, Christmas markets full of decorations, traditional food, and music sprouted up all over the country. While we visited Stuttgart's Christmas market, we were very excited to explore the markets in Berlin. Berlin has Christmas markets all over the city, and we visited the one near Zoologischer Garten. We ate Rothenburger Schneeballen, chestnuts, and (of course) bratwurst. Before we left, sweet Inette and Matt wanted to buy Sebastian a ride in one of the cars. Look at the joy on his face.

Familie Richter
On Wednesday, we were invited to the Familie Richter's home for tea and cakes. Curtis met the Richter family while he was living and serving in Brandenburg. Brother Richter is a park ranger, so he says he gets to play all day for work. But he enjoys baking too: He made three cakes for us. "Do you like raisins? Well, I like raisins, so I'm going to put them in the cake," he would tease. They have a lovely house with lots of space and plants outside, including bees! Sebastian got to see the bees in their backyard before it got too dark, and he certainly has a healthy respect for them. We enjoyed spending more time getting to know this family.

Curtis and the Richter family in 2009

Inette and Matt
Hands down, though—this trip would not have been one of the highlights of our year without Inette and Matt. When Curtis and I say that we loved Berlin, we are thinking much less about the city tours and döner kebabs and much more about the friendship we developed with Inette and Matt. They cooked for us! They toured with us! They even gave up their bed for a week so we could have somewhere to sleep!

Curtis met Inette when he was on his mission, which was roughly six years ago. Since Curtis spend seven months in Brandenburg, they became good friends, but their friendship didn't end when he left the area. We knew that we would get along when we stayed with them for this week, but I don't think and of us anticipated just how close we would become after just a few days. Some common phrases heard throughout the week: "That conversation just sounds like me and Matt," or "That's exactly what we have talked about!" We couldn't help but stay up—sometimes until 2 a.m.—just chatting as if we were at a week-long slumber party.

Inette and Matt were especially sweet to Livia and Sebastian. Livia just adored being held and played with while Sebastian ran around their apartment to explore every corner. We couldn't keep the Advent candles lit because Sebastian wanted to blow them out. Rather than just putting the candles away, Matt re-lit them over and over again for him for almost half an hour. After he stopped lighting the candles, he let Sebastian "blow out" the Christmas lights hanging on the wall. As soon as Sebastian would blow, Matt would unplug the lights. Sebastian thought he was magic.

Sebastian out like a light while the grown-ups partied in the other room

Inette and Matt in the other room

We just loved spending time with Inette and Matt. They are a perfect couple and they inspire us to be better people. It's such a shame that we live on opposite sides of the world because it's hard to find friends like them. We love you!

We chose well when we chose to visit Berlin. It may be a while until we go back, but the memories we made are some of the best we've made together.