Because of Him

Easter has always been a holiday that weighs heavily on my heart. The fresh newness of spring is easy to breathe in, but when I think of Him, it suddenly becomes hard to swallow. It's difficult to articulate how I feel about my Savior Jesus Christ. It's a deep, vulnerable feeling that my understanding of words like "love" and "gratitude" barely scratch the surface of. I like to think that I understand what He did, but I don't. When I stop to think about what my Savior really does for me, an awareness washes over me. It's everything. Everything I love, everything I have, and everything I want I owe to Him. Because of Him, I'm free. I'm happy. Because of Him, I have come to know a more whole version of myself. Because of Him, I can keep everything I hold sacred and dear. These gifts are overwhelming and beautiful and so joyful. It's really just not fair. But it's real. 

These Feet Were Made For Walking

Today's the day! Livia's a walker. She's been taunting us since Christmas break! Livia has been standing on her own for more than a few months now, even squatting to pick something up and standing again all by herself! She's definitely more cautious than her daredevil brother, but you can see the concentration and thought put into each move she makes. She wasn't going to walk until she could do it with confidence. But now she's done it.

And look at the other shenanigans she's getting into! (Why the dishwasher?)

If the combination of that hat and those cheeks don't kill you, I don't know what will.

Love you, sweet Livia! We're proud of you and all your determination, curiosity, and adventure.

My Red House

Last year in Germany, Curtis said that we might be able to buy a house this year. So I promptly got online and started looking for my dream house. After a few weeks of searching, I found it. My perfect dream house. It was a 3-bedroom, 1200-square-foot red house nestled into one of Portland's largest city parks. It had a wood-burning stove, open kitchen, large entryway, darling gables, nature . . . basically, it was perfect. I'd get online every day just to look at it. I remember that fateful day in October when I saw it had been sold. My heart broke a little that day. I still ache for this house. When we moved back to Vancouver in January, we had to drive by it, even though it had already been sold. My heart broke again.

So, we're still on the hunt. We decided that we better make a list of some of our must-haves for our next dream home, since this one is already occupied. 

Here we go:

• this house (OK, that wasn't possible)
• 1200-1800 sq. ft.
• 3 bedrooms
• 1.5-2 bathrooms
• open concept
• L-shaped kitchen
• kitchen island
• wood-burning stove
• additional living/family room
• separate laundry room
• garage
• garden space
• south-facing

Can we find something that fits the bill? And the budget? Only time will tell. But until then, I'll still dream of my red house.

Love Is In the Air

As Valentine's Day rolls around this year, I challenged myself to make the perfect cheese fondue and list the most irresistible things about my babies.

I love the way Sebastian runs on his tippy toes. He has been doing this ever since he first started walking. Sometimes he'll wag his head from side to side as he shuffles his feel, and his sweet grin just makes me chuckle every time.

Livia has the sweetest fingers. Maybe it's because they are tiny. But when she's eating or looking at something intently, she points her finger as straight as she can. I always wonder what she's discovering.

The first time Sebastian walked around on snow and ice this year, he was cautious but excited. He, as usual, had cars in his hands. Although I thought it was pretty cute how he would try to step on the ice, it was when he fell down flat on his back that I couldn't handle. He lay there for a second or two, then rolled over and immediately started rolling his car on the ice. Falling never phases this boy.

Livia is generally a life-loving gal, but when Sebastian goes to sleep, she knows. It's her absolute favorite time of day. She is awake and smiling and wiggling and kicking around so much that Curtis and I can't help but give her all our attention. That's probably the reason she loves it so much.

Sebastian's language skills are sky-rocketing these days. He's picking up on words that we don't even try to teach him. He's still getting used to pronouns, however, and I take it as a great sign of learning when he mixes them up. His favorites these days are "hold you" when he wants to be held and "sit me" when he also wants to be held.

I never thought I would love any other babies legs more than I loved Sebastian's until I saw Livia's. Her chunky little legs just kill me every time I look at them! When we stretch on the floor, sometimes she'll straighten them out as much as she can, and every little roll squeezes together. Delicious! My favorite, though, has to be when she froggy kicks her legs. She does it when she's excited—or randomly—and I love it every time.

No Bras in the Trash

As the boxes were carried up the stairs when we were moving in a few weeks ago, I nearly sobbed at the sight of all our stuff. It has been sitting, locked up in storage for the past eight months . . . and now what am I supposed to do with it? I've been living without it for this long, and now . . . now what? While we were living out of exactly four suitcases, we made the decision to cut down our wardrobe. But the cutting is painful sometimes. I'll fold one of my old jackets, and Curtis is all, "But I thought you liked that jacket." Well, I do. But I have to draw the line somewhere. I made a spreadsheet of the numbers of each type of clothing I could keep, and I can keep only three jackets.

We have a plan to getting rid of many of our clothes.

First, we can sell what we can. We've got a nice consignment shop near our apartment that I've given a few lesser-worn items to. It gives those items a second chance at being loved, and I like that. What doesn't sell after sixty days is donated. I like that too.

Second, we can swap what we can. Our church women's organization has an awesome Share Table that they set up when we have monthly activities. You can set what you want on the table, and let someone else have the chance to reuse it. Whatever is left on the table at the end of the night is donated. I really like that.

Third, we can donate what we can. What I don't think will resell or get snatched from the Share Table will go straight to Arc. Arc is similar to Goodwill: it accepts donations of clothing and household items, but the donations help serve and fund programs for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. I love that.

But, there are still some things that I can't sell, swap, or donate. Bras? Underwear? Many donation sites won't accept items like that. So I did some research, and I want to tell you about my findings:

Source: usagain.com

Did you know that over 13 million tons of textiles are trashed each year? Many of the items that we throw away are perfectly reusable, including bras and underwear. Bras, in fact, are one of the most requested items in women's shelters and transitional programs around the world (The Bra Recyclers).

So what do we do with bras that don't fit or that we don't wear? I found a couple neat places that you can donate bras:

The Bra Recyclers. The Bra Recyclers save bras in good condition from adding to piles of wasted textiles and gives them to girls and women who are in need. Women in transition don't always have the means to shop for or afford a bra. Of those women, 8 out of 10 are wearing a bra that is the wrong size. A bra is one of those garments that we don't often think of as a self-esteem booster, but it is. Having a bra gives a woman confidence and comfort, and The Bra Recyclers can give women that confidence when they need it most.

Bras for a Cause. For those bras that may not be in tip-top shape, Bras for a Cause accepts bras, lingerie, swimsuits, and underwear (even the sexy stuff!) in all conditions (but they accept items in good shape too!). They take these items and sort them: What is reusable, they donate. What is not, they turn into art and sell to raise money to support breast cancer survivors and research. It is hard to find someone who hasn't been affected by breast cancer. My own Lola passed away from breast cancer nearly a decade ago, so donating your old bras can help this cause.

Moving Back to Vancouver

Well, it's finally here. We are here. We are settled. We are back. Let's hang some pictures on the wall and stay a while. To think the last time we were here, sweet Livia was just born . . . it's a little strange that she's now standing on her own and at least twice her size. Our adventure has gone by fast, but we're ready for the next one.

The last time we were in Vancouver, we liked it, but we didn't love it. We picked our apartment sight unseen, and were less than thrilled when the sight was seen. I was stuck, very pregnant, in a part of town where nothing else was. No parks, no stores, nothing to do. We were sharing a car, and Curtis drove that car to work every day for almost an hour each way. It was hard to make friends because we were just the people who were leaving in a few months. I lived for Friday playgroup, which never seemed to come fast enough. When I did get the car, it was only because Curtis was on a week- or two-week-long business trip. The worst! We had our shining moments (visiting the coast, seeing family, having Livia), but they were few and far between. I spent almost the entire time looking for a new place to live. For some reason, I remember the sun shining only once.

As we were driving back on Saturday, it couldn't have been a more beautiful, sunny day. We already felt different and hopeful about our new home. We unlocked our apartment door to find a sweet welcome basket from our apartment manager! Who does that? That little basket was so much more than just a roll of toilet paper or bottle of hand soap; it was a beacon of hope!

We had a few people lined up to help us move our lives from the storage unit into our apartment. Well, we showed up and saw only one friend ready to help! (We love you Reidheads!) We were just a little worried until the sweet sister missionaries showed up. By this point, Curtis had already loaded the truck. Eeek! The sisters called a few other missionaries, and within minutes, six other missionaries arrived to help! What luck! They were bringing up box after box to my overwhelmed self, when suddenly a few other friends showed up. It was like pressing the fast forward button on the VCR. Those Heasley boys sure know how to move boxes! (And there is nothing like moving to make you realize how much stuff you have . . . especially after a year like ours.)

This time around, things are much different. We love where we live. After living in Germany and walking everywhere we went, we love walking to all the nearby shops and parks. Sebastian rides his bicycle along side me to our favorite produce market (they give him free ice creams!), to the library (we love story time!), and to a few different parks (with friends, even!). We are even on the same block as our church building. Curtis has even started carpooling with a coworker who lives in our neighborhood, which makes his commute much shorter (hello, HOV lane!) and my travel radius much larger (hello, zoo!). And for some reason, the sun is shining all the time.

Business as Usual

Curtis had to complete a two-week assignment at a truck dealership, and he chose to do that in Salt Lake. So, why not bring the whole family? We took an extra week off, purely for convenience's sake, so we wouldn't have to drive to Portland then back to Utah then back to Portland. It was a fantastic idea, to say the least. Lately, I feel like all his business turns into extended family vacations. I still wish we had turned Spain into a family vacation. Oh well. Maybe next time.

After the Christmas festivities were over, we drove down to Salt Lake City, Utah, as we had done many, many times before. It honestly felt like we were driving home . . . not driving in the opposite direction. The mountains, the temples, the feeling of Utah seemed so comforting and familiar. It was nice.

Mammaw, than you for letting us stay with you for the first week. Boy, are you a hoot! We played games late at night and had a party with the whole family. Just like old times. You are a big reason we felt so at home in Utah.

Reid and Stacy, we're so glad we were able to see sweet Evaline's blessing. It was such an honor for you to invite us—and if you hadn't, this whole vacation probably would never have happened. We have always felt terrible about moving away right before your wedding, so we hope the steak made up for it.

Rick and the Nomen Alumni Association (actually, there's no such thing), there will always be a special place in my heart for you all! Teaching English was always something I wanted to do as a career, and I know I was more than lucky to do it while living in Provo, Utah. I was able to live my dream and meet some of the finest people in the world at the same time. It was lovely seeing you all again at the most authentic Mexican joint around these parts--Cafe Rio.

Sara and John, breakfasts at your house never disappoint! Although it was a little weird being in our old house with you, we always love chatting about whatever comes up. We can't believe how big Sam is (and how round his head still is!) and that you have another on the way! You two always make us feel so good about being who we are, so we really do wish we saw you more often!

Drew and Julie, we really are friends! It meant a lot to me when you told us we were good friends because we promised to visit you and we actually did . . . of course we did! It's a shame we didn't have time for you to tell us the story of how you fell in love again (my favorite story), but there is always next time, right? Right?

Many and Nere, you are both some of our most loyal friends, and we were so glad we got to meet little Liam! We still get a kick out of the "we are only doing something simple," and Many whips up the most delicious Baja tacos we've ever had in our lives. No exaggeration. Nere, I've been making salsa like you told us to. We will never do anything else.

Provo 3rd Ward, I feel like we will always consider you our "home" ward. You were the first ward we attended as a married couple, and you shaped our religious lives at a critical time in our marriage. We still talk about all the great friends we had in your ward and how easy it was to be ourselves around you. Thanks for welcoming us back with warm smiles and a jar of honey.

Alicia (and family), you were the best visiting teacher I have ever had, and you still make me feel like I am the most important person! We were so honored you invited us over to your home for dinner, and you must tell Ruben what a wonderful chef he is. So tender and juicy . . . it's a real vacation when every meal is delicious.

Pizzaria 712, you are the one thing we wanted to eat when we came back to visit. I don't know what "burrata," "romesco," or "crostinis" are, but you know that they are delicious together, and I trust you. The fig and Gorgonzola pizza was a total winner, but when have we ever had a non-winner with you? Never.

Kamille, I have basically known you longer than anyone other human on Earth, and it shows. No topic is-off limits, and I always know we generally have the same exact thoughts at the same exact times . . . probably because our two babies are the same exact ages. Winston was such a perfect friend for Sebastian. The testing at the beginning just allowed them to know they were on the same page, and now Sebastian loves Win like a brother. I want them to be friends forever. Kangaroo Zoo, the children's museum, swimming . . . I never wanted it to end.

Delyn, no matter how many years go by, I will always consider you one of my biggest inspirations and sweetest allies. You look better every time I see you, and I am so excited to hear about your new plans and to see where they take you. P.S. Sebastian finished drawing in his notebook after like two Sundays. I'm surprised it lasted that long! He just loved it. And I loved my chocolate. That didn't last nearly as long. Not at all.

Garrett and Austen and Baby Roy, what can I say? We love you guys to death. We loved having dinner at your apartment, at Pizzaria 712, and at our hotel. I still laugh when I think of Garrett throwing Sebastian on the bed the way you did. You already know this, but Sebastian has named all of his toys after you. We may not have a black and white cat toy, so the dalmatian is named Baby Roy. And they play chase together all the time.